How to get a job through networking: who will pick up the phone?

You can send a hundred applications into the void, or you can call five people who know you. Here's how to get a job through networking, and how to ask for a referral the right way.

The bot is going to kick you out

Applying for jobs used to mean a resume, a cover letter and a person on the other end. Now many applications go through screening software first, often with AI, before a human ever looks.

Yao says it bluntly: "If you don't know someone, you're not getting anything. The bot's going to kick you out."

A referral changes that. When someone inside the company forwards your name, a human looks at you. Someone has already said, "I know her. She's good." That's worth more than any keyword on your resume.

Who will pick up the phone?

That's the real test of a network. Forget how many connections you have on LinkedIn. How many people will pick up when you call and say, "I need help"?

When COVID hit and nobody could get coffee anymore, the women who'd kept their heads down at their desks had no one to call. As Yao puts it, "You need to be able to open your Rolodex and call people."

We see it at Wonder Women all the time. The jobs, the deals, the introductions come after the friendship. Our members' WhatsApp groups are, in Yao's words, "like the Google of life." Somebody always knows somebody. And Yao says every pivot she's ever made came out of this network.

Who will pick up the phone? That's what a network is.

Where the jobs actually are

Some roles never get posted. Some get posted after the hiring manager already has someone in mind. Some get posted, and the person who gets the job came in through a friend anyway. You'll hear this called the hidden job market.

The way into it is people. Our own jobs group started because one member wanted to help other members find work. Now members post roles for each other: from members, to members. When women who trust each other are in one place, opportunities move fast.

Tell people what you want

Your network can't help you with something they don't know you want. So say it. Specifically.

"I'm open to new things" doesn't help anyone. "I'm looking for a head of marketing role at a consumer brand in Chicago, and I'd love to talk to anyone at these three companies" does. Now your friend can actually think of a name.

But there's an order to this. Relationship first, ask second. As Yao says, "The ask isn't the words. It's the trust." If the only time someone hears from you is when you need a job, the call goes differently.

How to ask for a referral the right way

1. Start with people who know your work. Former bosses, colleagues, clients, friends who've seen you in action. They can vouch for you because they've actually seen it.
2. Pick the role first. Find the specific job, at the specific company. "Can you refer me to anything?" is hard to say yes to.
3. Send one easy note. The job link, your resume, and three or four sentences she can forward as is: who you are, why this role, why you'd be great at it.
4. Ask what she's comfortable with. A formal referral, a word with the hiring manager, or just the name of the right person to talk to. Any of those helps.
5. Make it easy to say no. She might not know the team well, or it might be awkward for her. "No pressure at all" goes a long way.
6. Close the loop. Tell her what happened, whether you got the interview or not. Thank her. She put her name on you.

What about a stranger on LinkedIn? Don't ask someone who doesn't know you to vouch for you. Ask for advice instead: fifteen minutes on what the team is like. If the conversation goes well, she may offer to refer you herself.

For more on making the ask itself, read how to ask for an introduction.

Build it before you need it

"Businesses don't happen overnight," Yao says. "Networks don't either." Start before you're looking.

When Yao switched industries in her early twenties and knew nobody in New York, she spent a year giving: introductions, referrals, every coffee (she tells the whole story in Hate networking? So do I.). She's changed industries four or five times since, and those relationships came with her every time.

You don't need a year of breakfasts. You need a few people you see REGULARLY, at least once a month, who know what you're great at. Help them when you can. Then when you need a job, you're calling friends.

Questions people ask us

How do I get a job through networking?

Tell the people who know and trust you exactly what role you're looking for, then ask for something specific: a referral, a name, or a word with the hiring manager. Make it easy with a short forwardable note and your resume.

What is the hidden job market?

It's the jobs that get filled through people: roles that are never posted, or that go to someone who came in through a referral. The way in is relationships with people who will recommend you.

How do I ask for a referral for a job?

Ask someone who knows your work. Send the job link, your resume and a three- or four-sentence blurb she can forward. Ask what she's comfortable doing, make it easy to say no, and tell her how it turned out.

Should I ask a stranger for a referral?

No. Ask a stranger for advice instead, like fifteen minutes on what the team is like. If you build a real connection, she may offer to refer you on her own.

Dr. Yao Huang founded Wonder Women more than twenty years ago with a table of four friends in New York. Today it's 20,000 women and 5,000 dinners in 30+ cities. She is also the founder of The Hatchery and a three-time TEDx speaker.