How to tell a good story (in two minutes or less)

At every Wonder Women dinner, twenty women stand up and tell the table a one- to two-minute story. I've heard a LOT of them. Here's what makes one stick, and how to tell yours.

The two-minute story

Every dinner starts the same way. Everyone stands up and says three things: your name, what you do, and something Google doesn't know about you. One to two minutes. If you see me spin my hand at my throat, wrap it up. (Here's the whole icebreaker, if you want to steal it.)

I tell the table it'll be as fun or as boring as they make it. Sex, drugs, and rock and roll if you want it spicy.

The name and the job take ten seconds. The story is the part everyone remembers on the way home.

There's research on this. In a classic Stanford study, people who wove word lists into their own stories later recalled 93% of the words. People who simply studied the lists recalled 13% (Bower & Clark, 1969).

How you tell it is who you are

After 20 years of this, I can tell you something. The way someone performs in that storytelling is directly correlated to who they really are.

The woman who reads her LinkedIn headline and sits down? Usually just as guarded the rest of the night. The woman who tells the ridiculous thing that happened to her in Vegas, and laughs at herself? She's open. And the open ones are the women who participate, who help other people, who come back.

So a good story does two jobs. It entertains the table, and it tells everyone who you are without you having to say it.

"From the sordid and subversive to the mischievous and misguided."Lynn Altman, CEO of Brand Now and Wonder Women member, on the stories at our tables

Funny is sticky

People forget facts. They remember the story that made them laugh. Laughter is how the walls come down.

And you don't have to be a comedian. I did stand-up at Caroline's, New York's biggest comedy club (long story), and the biggest thing I learned is that being funny on a comedy stage is a high bar. Being funny at a dinner table, or in a meeting? Very low bar. A true, specific, slightly embarrassing detail gets a laugh all by itself, because everyone recognizes themselves in it.

How to tell a good story in two minutes

1. Pick one moment. One. Your whole life story is a memoir. One afternoon, one trip, one phone call is a story.
2. Start where the trouble starts. Skip the setup and the backstory. Drop us right into the moment something went sideways.
3. Give one specific detail. The exact thing she said. What you were wearing. The name of the terrible hotel. Specific is what makes it real, and real is what makes it funny.
4. Make yourself the punchline. Stories where you're the hero are a humblebrag. Stories where you're the idiot are a gift.
5. Land it. End on the laugh, the twist, or one line about what happened next. Then stop talking. Don't explain the joke.
6. Watch the room. If they're laughing, you can take a beat. If you see the hand spin at the throat, you're done.
7. Practice on a friend. Tell it out loud a few times before the dinner. You'll find the part that gets the laugh, and the part that needs to go.

Stories that fall flat

• The resume dressed up as a story. "So then I was promoted to..."
• The humblebrag. If the punchline is how great you are, it isn't a punchline.
• The six-minute story. You lost them at minute three.
• The inside joke. If it needs "you had to be there," we weren't there.
• Too dark or too personal for a first meeting. Keep it PG-13. Save the heavy stuff for when you know each other.

The ones that win are small, true and a little ridiculous. At one of our San Diego dinners, the woman who won "Best Story" summed it up on LinkedIn afterward:

"Finally, my years of chronic oversharing have paid off."Sarah Norman, Wonder Women member, San Diego

How to tell a good story in conversation

Most stories don't happen at a microphone. They happen across a table, one on one, over a glass of wine.

In conversation, keep it even shorter. Thirty seconds to a minute. Then leave room. A good story in conversation is an invitation: you go first, so she feels safe going next.

So after yours, ask for hers. "Has that ever happened to you?" And when she tells it, build on it. "Yes, and..." is how a conversation keeps going. "No, but..." is how it dies.

And next time someone asks "So what do you do?" try a story instead. The weird true thing that happened to you this week. That's a much better opener than the weather.

Questions women ask me

How do you tell a good story in conversation?

Keep it to about a minute. Pick one moment, start where things go wrong, add one specific detail, and land it. Then ask for her story, so it turns into a conversation instead of a performance.

How long should a story be?

One to two minutes when you're telling a group, and under a minute one on one. If you need longer, you're telling more than one story.

What if I'm not funny?

You don't need jokes. Honest and specific gets the laugh on its own, because people recognize themselves in it. Let yourself be a little embarrassing.

How do I tell a story about myself without bragging?

Make yourself the punchline. Tell the time you got it wrong, got lost or got caught. People trust the woman who can laugh at herself.

Dr. Yao Huang founded Wonder Women more than twenty years ago with a table of four friends in New York. Today it's 20,000 women and 5,000 dinners in 30+ cities. She is also the founder of The Hatchery and a three-time TEDx speaker.