Laid off at 50? Your network is the safety net.

Getting laid off at 50 is scary. I've watched a lot of women start over at 50 anyway, and the ones who do it well don't do it alone.

What you go in with is what you have

When COVID hit, one thing became obvious about networks. What you go in with is what you have. Nobody could get coffee anymore. If your head had been down at your desk for years, who was going to help you?

A layoff at 50 works the same way. The network you have the day you get the call is the network you start with. And for a lot of women, it's frozen.

I see networks freeze for all kinds of reasons:

• The stay-at-home mom. Ivy-educated, a former Wall Street VP, who stepped out to raise her kids. Years later, her old network has moved on without her.
• The "I've made it" person. She was doing great, got lazy about relationships, and stopped seeing the future coming.
• Divorce, and everything that gets reshuffled with it.
• The 50-year-old job hunter who hasn't needed her network in years, until now.

None of that is a judgment. Life happens. But a frozen network is fixable, and the fix is the same every time.

The title doesn't call you back

I recently got a call from someone who used to be the CEO of a major company. She never reached out when her title was big. Now she's out on her own, and she called me, literally asking for business.

But I don't know her capabilities in this world. Being CEO of a major company and being able to help someone tangibly are two different things. I couldn't vouch for her ability to do that. And there were plenty of other people going after the same business.

She didn't build and maintain her network when she had the title. Now, without the title, no one wants to call her back.

That's what I'm trying to say. You need your network through the ups and the downs, and you're really going to need it when you're down. Maintain it no matter what. It's about relationships and trust. And it takes time.

Fill every day with 10 meetings

Here's the advice I give a lot of people. Fill each day with 10 meetings, back to back. Even better if they're in person. Old bosses. Clients. Your kids' friends' parents. The woman from that board.

Then listen. Find out what problems the other person is dealing with, and how they're trying to solve them. If you're really good, you'll come up with a solution on the spot.

And then you ask for it. See if they want help fixing it, and move on from there.

It's really not about you. Not "Give me a job." Not "Can you help me find a job?" It's: how can you solve someone else's problem?

What I've found is that I start spewing ideas on the spot. If someone has six pages of notes by the time I'm done, that's your signal that you're valuable.

If someone has six pages of notes by the time you're done, that's your signal that you're valuable.

Different people play different roles

You won't find one person who has all the answers. You don't need one. In a change like this, you need a support system, and different people play different roles:

• Advice and strategy. The friend who helps you figure out what you actually want next.
• The mentor. The wise one who's been through it.
• Introductions. The one who knows everybody and doesn't mind making a call.
• Connecting the dots. The one who hears your story and says, "Wait, you should talk to her."

You get one from each person.

The more people you have, the more drops of rain.

From ballerina to doctor

Layoffs, AI replacing jobs, industries changing under our feet. I see 50-year-olds making huge leaps: from ballerina to doctor, accountant to farmer. That's what this stage of life looks like now.

My own path is a zig-zag, and it's still zagging. Healthcare, then tech, then investing, now climate. I've changed industries four or five times. Wonder Women ran parallel the whole way. I didn't plan it. And every pivot I've ever made came out of my network.

You may be wise and seasoned in your field. But when you go through changes in life and try new things, you're green again. You need a network to help you go from green to sage.

You may not need another corporate job

Here's something I'm seeing more and more with senior women. After a layoff, some of them don't go back to a corporate job at all. They build a portfolio of clients instead: consulting, advising, several companies instead of one boss.

That only works if people already know you and trust your judgment. It usually goes the same way I've watched women get onto boards: friends first, then advisor, then something bigger (how that path works). Your first clients are almost always people you already know.

How bad do you want it?

Starting over takes grit. Businesses don't happen overnight. Networks don't either. Multiple times, I've created something from nothing. Every time, the question was the same: how bad do you want it?

So surround yourself with people who make you better. Older, wiser, braver. You are who you surround yourself with. If the people around you right now are scared and stuck, go find a new table.

And be kind to yourself. Fifty isn't the end of anything. Ask the women at our tables who've done it.

Questions women ask me

What should I do if I get laid off at 50?

Take a breath, then start reaching out to people right away: old colleagues, friends, people you've helped. Tell them plainly what happened and what you want next. Ask different people for different kinds of help, and don't do it alone.

Is it too late to change careers at 50?

No. I see 50-year-olds go from ballerina to doctor and accountant to farmer. You'll be new again in some ways, so build a network that can help you go from green to sage.

How do I start over at 50 as a woman?

Start with your people. Thaw out your network, join a group that meets regularly, and get specific about what you want. Consider consulting or advising for a portfolio of clients, which often starts with people who already trust you.

How do I network after years out of the workforce?

Begin with the people you already know, even if it's been ten years. Reach out warmly, tell them what you're looking for, and offer help too. Then get into a small group that meets every month so the relationships keep growing.

Dr. Yao Huang founded Wonder Women more than twenty years ago with a table of four friends in New York. Today it's 20,000 women and 5,000 dinners in 30+ cities. She is also the founder of The Hatchery and a three-time TEDx speaker.